Mayor of Portland 2028 Re-Election Personal Website
My name is Mayor of Portland O'fficial --- I am the Official Mayor of Portland.
i;m the real hot mayor compared to keith he has no swag
Hello Portland, my City!
This is where I will put a lot of my really important announcements and statements and stuff . dont worry about the website design this is a lil somthin my cousin Ricky and his polyamourous partner Pickles (they/he) put together (we are NOT on speaking terms!)
august 2026 KOIN interview: im a big slut
here is my list of interests! i will fight for u as a DEMOCRATIC SOCIALIST mayor (lowkey communist anarchist iykyk)
- setting an example of a gay and cool mayor bringing the vibe up
- yall are paying Keith like 380K a year or somethin like that! WTF!! i;ll do the same job for HALF the price and hire a 2nd mayor too! talk about VALUE. and i'll do a better job !!! u'd be insane not to vote for me again!
- arts and creativity
- public transportation (e.g. more streetcar to more neighborhoods)
- making the rich afraid in a very real unprecedented way
- compassion for our homeless neighbors not sweeps like actual housing and universal basic income instead of means testing we already studied this in multnomah county for queer youth experiencing homelessnness and it works
- decriminalize sex work and
- no more passive aggressive BS its over
- strippers and bartenders and food service workers and immigrants make this town's economy work, so the town has to work for them and they gotta afford to live here and be cherished so thats that
- portland vs seattle discourse
- i hereby war on parking lots in the central city to build housing and i will personally help install a thousand garbage cans and 500 benches and 50 public restrooms and alllll the union city staff to upkeep them and the police budget has plenty to get it from
- guess what im not gonna do any weird moda center stuff, its over for these fools
- bus lanes
- i will wear COOL OUTFITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- treat substance use disorder aka addiction with a hug and services not handcuffs "u got a friend in me"
- unions and cooperatives and a solidarity economy
- for a weird city we gotta quit electing corporate suit dudes, get urself a slutty lil freak!
- i have a phd
- i will never relent.i am relentless
here's the thing! imagine a real person as mayor i;m a member of good organizations and I have various areas of expertise.
I WILL NOT REST UNTIL WE HAVE ACCOUNTABILITY FOR WHY THINGS ARE SO BAD
UNDER MY ADMINISTRATION THERE WILL BE REFORM
IF YOU ELECT ME YOU WILL SEE RESULTS
ACCOUNTABILITY. REFORM. RESULTS
this is NOT a public interactive art project or absurdist satirical critique on the way modern social media establishments and dominant corporate structures operate in a realtime web of bullshit to manufacture "acceptable" political discourse and "allowable" bodies to take space in said structures or even have "serious" opinions let alone "professional dress" its DEFINITELY real and I Do Beleive In A State Government That Enforces These Norms Through More Or Less Violent Means And Borders Are Important to ME !! I swear that this is an immaculate truthful navigation of political imagination and delusion
here are some of my favorite websites
check them out!